Short story writing - some thoughts

A big thanks to Shenton College here in Perth, for last week inviting me in to talk to their 'year nine' students on the art of short story writing.

Apart from being lots of fun, talking about writing for me at least is also a great way to consciously consider the process I am trying to follow. It’s very easy to simply sit down and write without thinking too much about the rules that I know work for me.  So for anyone who's interested, here are a few of my favourites:

Read! 

Your creative brain is a muscle that needs regular exercise. Analyse the books you read and think about how your favourite authors bring their stories to life. Take their work apart and try to identify any elements you might want to replicate in your own writing.

Start with a connection

Find a theme or topic that you actually care about or are interested in – your writing will be far better if you do.

Flip your head and ask 'what if..?' 

Brainstorm for plot ideas and always write them down together on one piece of paper. Seeing them together in concrete, black and white is very different from collecting a bunch of  thoughts in your head.

Crazy beats cliched 

Take risks and don’t be afraid to try something that may at first appear too ‘out there’. 

Borrow

If you’re stuck for ideas then think about themes that resonate for you. Write your own simple log-lines for your favourite books and films.  Are these plots you could adapt too? This is not the same as plagiarizing!

Start with a plan 

I know not all writers do this but I can’t work without one. A rough understanding of where the plot is going and how it might be resolved, informs my writing as I go. That doesn't mean things won’t change but I find it helps to avoid hitting that wall.

Remember the genre

One or two main characters dealing with a single conflict, usually over a short period of time. Avoid complex back stories and sub plots-those are for novels.

Experiment with your voice

Find what works for you - choose a point of view, tense and mix of action, thought and speech to carry the plot forward. If it doesn't feel right then change things around.

Don’t lobotomize your characters. 

If you don’t believe in them then your reader won’t either.  Get inside their heads and highlight their flaws and unique traits. No one is perfect and if they were they’d be boring. See the world through their eyes and keep checking your writing to see if it still rings true.

Hook em

Have a great hook to grab your reader. No right or wrong way to do this as long as it’s compelling, relevant to where your story is going and raises questions the reader will want to find answers for.

Less is more 

This is true for all writing but short stories are called that for a reason. No one wins prizes for word counts. If the text isn't telling the reader something important about the plot or your characters then why is it there? 

The short story arc is a roller-coaster not a mole hill. 

Scene setting and character building is all done within the plot. Introduce the problem up front and move rapidly to the climax using a series of complications. If you find yourself writing a flat patch then it isn't going to work .

Short stories don’t have epilogues. 

A good ending is a succinct one. Move the character past the conflict then finish with a neat line or two to wrap it up. Open ended resolutions can be great but are also very risky. Only use them if it’s clear the reader is left with two possible alternatives. This is not the same as running out of steam and leaving your climax hanging – that’s called a cop-out.

Did I say read a lot? Do that one again.

There and back again...and again

With the holidays in full swing, what better way to escape Perth’s latest heatwave than with a fun packed family outing to a nice air conditioned cinema? And with my entire clan all fully paid up members of the Mr Tolkien franchise fan club, it seemed we had little choice but to check out the latest Middle Earth blockbuster.

Not saying I didn’t enjoy it, but whilst chomping through my own body weight in popcorn, I couldn’t help wondering what Andy Flegg might make of it. A keen movie critic and Lord of the Rings (LOTR) fan himself, it seems to me he may have felt a little let down...

Desolation of Smaug review by Andy Flegg

Warning - Contains spoilers!

Here’s the good news - Unlike the movie, this review will not require multiple meal breaks and a family sized adult nappy pack.

In a nutshell, Hobbit 2 continues to follow the adventures of a furry footed Dr Watson from the Sherlock TV series, who for no obvious reason has teamed up with Gandalf the (not very) magical tramp from LOTR, plus a crew of height challenged medieval bikies (AKA the dwarves).

For reasons not clear, the dwarf bikies are convinced that Dr Watson can help them find their ancestral home known as Lost Mountain, that yes, you guessed it - they’ve lost. 

Sadly without the aid of modern day GPS equipment or apparently even a decent map, all of them spend the first few hours of the movie wandering aimlessly around an old LOTR set. The action only really gets going when Gandalf finally gets bored and dumps them for one of his tramp mates. Shortly after this, Dr Watson and the bikies get captured by a very freaky looking Orlando Bloom and his family of angry Swedish hippies (AKA the elves).

It’s never actually explained why the hippies are so angry, but I’m guessing that it may have something to do with Orlando’s disastrous series of DIY botox experiments that have left his once handsome face looking like an over inflated yellow beach ball.

Dr Watson can't help him but luckily he can still do the old ‘one ring to rule everyone’ trick which he cunningly uses to free his little mates. However, shortly after escaping the hippies, the bikies totally luck out again and are set upon by an even angrier mob of Western Sydney Wanderers supporters (AKA the orcs), who presumably mistake them for Melbourne Victory fans.

The good guys eventually get away by cleverly pretending to get smashed to pieces in some rapids and a couple of giant waterfalls. Then their luck finally turns for the better when they meet a sulky boatman who seems to think he’s still auditioning for Aragorn’s part in LOTR. After Sulky Aragorn takes them to his smelly village they fortuitously spot the lost mountain they’ve been looking for, right next door.

After yet another punch up with the angry hippies and the furious soccer thugs, Dr Watson and most of the bikies finally make it up to the mountain. There the head bikie who has spent large chunks of the movie mistakenly reading from Boromir's old LOTR script, decides to send Dr Watson inside the mountain alone. Sadly the furry footed medical sleuth totally stuffs this bit up and wakes a giant dragon who can not only speak perfect English but just happens to have exactly the same voice as Treebeard the Ent  from LOTR. What are the chances?

That’s pretty much it, apart from far too many lame scenes where the bikies try (and fail) to be funny and lots of much more amusing CGI action stuff where the bikies and the hippies compete to see who can come up with the most creative methods for killing the soccer thugs.

As for a Rotten Tomatoes score, I would give it 45% and summarise by saying it was a bit like watching the original LOTR on novocaine whilst having your wisdom teeth taken out by a plumber. Not totally excruciating exactly, but way too much needless gore and definitely took far too long.

 

 

 

 

Lost dog seeking help from time management guru.

Having a problem with time management?

Spending your whole life constantly struggling against a tide of ever growing critical ‘must do’ commitments?

Are even the simple tasks of keeping food in the fridge and maintaining basic hygiene a challenge in your insanely time poor world of 24/7 chaos and guilty stolen power naps?

If so then you’ll know what I’m saying when I tell you that having committed to a full time teaching role for  the remainder of the year, I have been struggling just a little with finding large chunks of time to dedicate to this blog, in between continuing my writing.

Personally I’m not even sure if it would bother me, if I didn't know there were a whole subset of disgustingly perfect people out there who can do all this stuff in their sleep.

It’s hard to smile sweetly and say the right thing when some perfectly groomed uber person tells me how lazy they feel for only writing one novel this year when the only other commitments they've had have been juggling the house renovation with their short six month stint building a water treatment plant in that African refugee camp. And how it almost felt like cheating because their six month old triplets are such ridiculously easy kids to breast feed.

 Normally I avoid these people like the plague. I figure why make yourself feel totally inadequate for no reason. But desperate times call for desperate measures and that’s why I’m asking for help now.  

Are you that person? If so I need to know. What’s your big secret? How do you do it? And where do all those hundreds of extra hours come from?

And if you won’t do it for me, then please do it for my family. My daughter’s school uniform is so dirty, even she’s started complaining-and that’s saying something. Plus if the things in the fridge aren't

thrown away soon, someone is going to get bitten.

And that’s not even mentioning the dog.  She’s been lost in our back yard since we came back from holiday. If I don’t somehow cut the grass this weekend, there’s every chance we may never see her again. Would someone who cares about African refugees really want a rotting dog on their conscience? I don't think so. 

So forget all that stuff I said about you under my breath and let’s put our differences aside. We don’t have to be friends forever. In fact I promise I’ll go back to hating you next year as if none of this had ever happened. But just this once, can’t you please share your secret?

Remember my blog may depend on it.

Road Tripping WA

Just a quick post to quash any rumours of an alien abduction. The truth is I have just returned from three adventure packed weeks on the road in the north west of Western Australia.

This is not a travel blog so I wont bore you with the details, except to say everyone involved had a fantastic time. From Perth up to Newman then onto Karijini National Park and over to the aquatic wonders of Exmouth and Coral Bay - 4,500km of red dirt, blue skies and wind!

The highlights for me had to be the amazing colour filled landscapes of Karijini, perhaps only bettered by the fish soup we discovered under Exmouth pier and on Ningaloo reef.

The only low-lights I can think of were barely worth mentioning. Putting a leaky bag of squid in our fridge early on and consequently having to eat squid flavoured food for the rest of the trip wasn't so bad once we got used to the taste.  Even ripping the tent in half with our car during a gale at our Exmouth beach camp, turned out to be not to be such a big deal once we found a great tent repair man in town.

Definitely a holiday to remember and hopefully one to repeat...perhaps without the squid next time though.

Don't worry, we'll think of a title...

Anyone who has read Andy Flegg will know he and I have a bit of an obsession with movies. 

In the novel I’m working on at the moment, I've taken this one step further and included several fictitious movie titles of my own.

The idea is that the main character’s father works as a stuntman on B-movie mockbusters – a genre that I've grown to love since we discovered Universal Channel on our TV. Seriously who can forget timeless classics like SharkNado.

Anyway, as a result I've had hours of fun coming up with my own imaginary mockbusters – such sure-fire hits as Nightmare on Elmo Street, Zombie Clown Killers, Poultrygeist 2: Return to the Coup (yes- it’s about evil chickens) and Silence of the Hams (evil pigs).

But if you think I've lost the plot and they’re too far fetched to be credible, then I’m guessing you don’t watch as many terrible films as I do.

Why not check out the Rotten Tomatoes clip below and then tell me, mine are too stupid. And in case you’re short for time, my personal top five from the video would have to be:

1. Night of the Hell Hamsters
2. The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini
3. Fat Guy goes Nutzoid
4. Death Bed: The Bed that Eats!
5. The Incredibly Strange Creatures who stopped living and became mixed up Zombies.

 

 FYI In case you didn't know, Don’t Worry We’ll Think Of A Title just happens to be the title of a real movie too!

Top ten best and worst things about being a kid's fiction writer

Alright, I've finally decided it's time that I gave something back to the literary world. This post is for anyone who is currently harbouring dark thoughts of becoming a kid's fiction author. But I'm guessing it applies for all kinds of writers really. Anyway here goes:

My top ten best things about being a kid’s fiction writer (in no particular order)

1. The thrill of seeing your book on the shelf of a large book-shop for the very first time. This is only surpassed by having the opportunity to rearrange their shelves and make a massive display of it, while other members of your family distract the shop staff.
2.  Having a publisher tell you that they love your work and want to pay you buckets of money to publish it (‘bucket’ is obviously a subjective term here).
3.  Randomly stumbling across a great review of your book that’s written by someone you’ve never met before.
4.  Having a reader tell you that they loved your book and they can’t wait for the next one to come out. Or perhaps even better, having a parent tell you that your book has changed their child’s whole view of reading (in a positive way).
5.  Getting to visit schools, events and festivals and finally fulfilling your secret dream of becoming a stand up comedian.
6.  Being the star in the spotlight of a really great publicity campaign to coincide with your book launch. Then sitting back for six months and imagining that it’s become a massive best seller, while you wait for the first royalty statement to arrive.
7.  Meeting other authors and realizing that they know even less about all the stuff that confuses you, concerns you, or that you simply don’t know about being a writer.
8.  Getting to stay home and take your dog for a walk anytime you want.
9.  Jumping out of bed in the morning with a desperate urge to rush to the keyboard and pour forth all the amazing ideas that have been banking up in your head. Then discovering that the day has passed in a blur of hammering keys and quality writing that almost certainly won't even need editing.
10.  The unique sense of satisfaction that can only be gained by knowing  all those months of hard graft turning the germ of idea into something people will want to read, has totally been worth it.  

  

Top ten worst things about being a kid’s fiction writer (in no particular order)

1. Getting asked to leave Dymocks after being caught trying to place your book in their front window.
2.  Having a publisher tell you they don’t love your work (or even worse, receiving a standard format letter implying that they haven’t even read it, but there is still no way in Hell they would ever consider publishing it).
3.  Reading a bad review of one of your books - Actually this has only happened to me once so far and I didn't take it personally at all because the reviewer was clearly a moron.
4.  Having a parent tell you that your book has damaged their child in some way. This has only happened to me once too and I didn't worry about that either because I think the kid’s mum was the same person who wrote the review. In fact, I bet her kid never even read the book.
5.  Doing a school visit and spending a hilarious hour doing a whole routine about how much fun Andy Flegg’s weird words are. Then have a kid ask afterwards if the book had any strange words in it! I think it's called ADD.
6.  Waiting for six months to find out how many books you've sold, then finally getting the first royalty statement, only to find out that you really shouldn't have been spending all that money on coffee after all.
7.  Meeting other authors and realizing that they know infinitely more about what they’re doing than you do.
8.  Having a dog who constantly harasses you to take her out when you are desperately trying to concentrate on getting some works done.
9.  Spending months of hard graft turning the germ of idea from a thought, to a plan, to a draft, to a pile of poo that you know must never be seen by anyone if you ever want them to take you seriously again.
10.  Waking up in the morning with absolutely no idea what you are going to write about. Then spending the rest of the day desperately pursuing any household task that will keep you away from the keyboard.

 Obviously these are only my own experiences, but hopefully some of you might find them insightful.

Up, Up and Urrgh...

 I know for a fact that many of the people I meet just assume that writers don’t really get out much.

That all  their ideas come from epiphanies in the bath. That if they bother to do any research at all, then it never goes much beyond the wonders of Google.

Well that might be true of some but it's definitely not my style. Most of my inspiration still comes from the classroom. 

Studying school yard dynamics is still a bottomless pit of content for me. Plus stealing great narrative ideas is a doddle when you're the one doing all the marking.

Still, sometimes I find even that's not enough. Like last week as I inched towards the final draft of my latest novel about a school full of phobia sufferers. I could never quite shake off that nagging feeling that there was still something missing. Some essential aura of authenticity.

                                                                                                

There was only one possible solution - I had to be my main character. I had to live in his head. To feel those emotions first hand and to know what a gut wrenching fear of heights actually felt like in the flesh.

That's why I invested a large chunk of any potential future royalties in an early morning balloon trip for me and my family. Alright so it tied in very nicely with a bucket list present for my wife’s birthday. But trust me, it was definitely all about the book.

Having my own minor fear of heights certainly helped. But would it be enough I wondered, to truly tap into the sheer terror that a real phobic would experience?

My doubts only grew as the balloon crew assured us that there really was nothing to worry about. That ballooning was quite different from climbing a ladder. That the feelings of vertigo weren't the same at all.

And they were right, it was nothing like climbing a ladder. It was more like dragging a tiny wicker basket a thousand feet up a wobbly pole during a storm and then putting your life in the hands of a giant multi-coloured carrier bag. As for the vertigo I really couldn't say. I was too busy cowering in the bottom of the basket, trying not peak through the gaps.

I did lean over just the once, but that was only because the balloon crew insisted. Whilst writing this post I've just discovered that large hailstones can reach a terminal velocity of up to 180km/h. 

So my guess is that breakfast vomit has to be about the same. The good news is, it seemed to spread out enough not to be much of a danger to anyone watching below.  

Also we were mostly flying over sheep paddocks and I’m sure they've had worse. You could tell by the way they kept running away from the balloon.

So was it worth it. Has it helped? Did I find the true essence of my novel's main character? Hopefully you'll get to read the book and find out.